[Day 17, daytime: Will]

[purrtagonist]

[tiredly, but there's a layer of tension in his words, like he's holding back]

What did you say to Tsumugi to get him to kill Dazai?

Comments

[purrtagonist]

[WILL. . .]

[he hesitates for a moment, because despite Dazai's messages, despite the conversation he had with Ichigo, despite Hiyori's accusations, there was absolutely a time when he empathized with Will. felt for him. believed that Will understood, in a way no one else could. and not all of the advice Will has given him has been completely wrong, either]

[. . .]

[he shakes his head]

Why were you always so willing to give Akechi and I advice?

[theyregooddogs]

Because of Akechi. You were related only through him.

[purrtagonist]

[toying with one of Baxter's ears, still frowning]

Akechi and I have spent most of our lives being manipulated by shitty adults. Akechi, far more than I.

Were you trying to help him?

[theyregooddogs]

Eventually, yeah. Once I got over my own reservations. He needs a lot of attention, focus, and I really don't like giving anyone that.

[purrtagonist]

[. . . he believes that. . .]

[he juxtaposes it to Madarame, to how he insisted he took Yusuke in because he cared about him, deep down, despite his more obvious and more selfish motivations]

[he lets out a frustrated noise, pulling his hand away from Bazter and threading his fingers in his bangs]

I don't know if I can believe that. If I should. A lot of what you said made sense-- not all of it was full of crap.

But knowing you were behind Tsumugi and Dazai makes me wonder exactly how much of it was meant to incite more discord between us.

[theyregooddogs]

I only did that once. I directed him from doing something you would hate to having a fight with you to settle your relationship. There's a great power disparity between you two, and he needs to take more control to stabilize. It also doesn't hurt for him to feel safe in having conflict with you, release pressure before it builds up too much.

Akira, I don't want to hurt Akechi. I have never wanted to hurt him.

[purrtagonist]

[THAT ALL SOUNDS SO LEGIT? and again, Akira. . . believes him. and yet. . .]

[he doesn't like this feeling]

[through gritted teeth]

. . . "only did it once."

Was that the time you came to me, and told me that he thought of me as his "prize?"

[theyregooddogs]

No, when you got hurt with Ichigo that one night. And you are his prize, but he hasn't called you that.

[purrtagonist]

[nnnngh]

. . .

[he lapses into silence, eyes slipping shut, as he returns to scratching Baxter behind the ears]

[theyregooddogs]

You haven't talked with Akechi about this.

[purrtagonist]

[a wry laugh]

Talked? No. Fought? Yeah.

I told him I thought the part about power dynamics was bullshit.

[theyregooddogs]

No, about you suspecting me.

[purrtagonist]

[oh]

No. I haven't. Why?

[theyregooddogs]

Thinking of his reaction, that's all.

[you know, what to do with that hour, etc]

[purrtagonist]

[. . .]

How do you think he'd react?

[theyregooddogs]

Depends on how you frame it, how it pans out. I don't want—to give too much of him away to you. At least, my understanding of him.

[purrtagonist]

[haa. . .]

I wonder if our understanding is the same, or different?

[theyregooddogs]

It's different. Because I can understand him.

[purrtagonist]

[no arguments there, but he does say]

I am learning to understand him.

[theyregooddogs]

Mmm.

[there's a brief flutter of a smile before will is back to normal, glancing off]

[purrtagonist]

[god. GOD!!!]

I'm really angry about Dazai and Tsumugi.

[so why does he just feel so. . . exhausted? and tired? instead of filled with his usual righteous rage]

[theyregooddogs]

I know. A lot of us are. That's why I'm not deflecting it, but I'm not going to lie either.

[purrtagonist]

No. But I do think you're pretty good at selective truths.

[theyregooddogs]

I am. But I wasn't involved with what happened to Dazai and Tsumugi beyond what everyone saw.

[purrtagonist]

[. . .]

[he finally stands up, wobbling a bit because, injured leg]

I don't think you killed Erika.

[he says, finally]

And even if the rules of this came don't consider you a killer just for manipulating someone?

The rest of us do.

[he says that, but there's no fire in his words, not heat in his voice. and with that, he is limping off]