[Week 1, Saturday: Terra]

[purrtagonist]

[when everyone has cleared out of McDonald's, when things have calmed down, when no one can see Akira approaching the ball pit with his head bowed and his hands stuffed into his pockets. . .]

Terra.

I'm sorry.

[Akira comes to pay his respects]

[f]

Comments

[darkearth]

Lion didn't deserve it, but... I'm glad you're alright. You'll all have to be more careful from now on.

I won't be there.

[purrtagonist]

Ushiromiya didn't deserve it. You're right.

[and, god. how he still wishes there were another way, even if he's determined to survive]

And. . . we can't risk getting injured again, without someone in our group who can heal us without leaving marks.

[this is gonna change so many murder strategies]

So we'll be careful. Stealthy like ghosts in the night, right?

[darkearth]

Right. [You did good, Akira, for what it's even worth.] I'm glad we could meet.

Being on this side of the Game... wasn't what I expected it would be.

[purrtagonist]

I'm glad we could, too.

[it doesn't feel like it's worth much. he feels there was so much more he could have done]

. . . it wasn't what I expected it to be, either. When I first agreed to become a Reaper.

[actually, he's taking a seat in front of the ball pit now, because he's going to be here a while]

What did you expect when you first took on the job?

[darkearth]

How it was last time, I guess. A way to become a Master. [He'll nevER BE A MASTER AT THIS RATE.] I don't know where we'll go when we're erased.

Mickey said we would return to our own worlds there--at the end. If we won. I wanted to go back, to see my friends, but... I didn't want anyone else to have to stay. And here, I didn't want anyone else to have to be a Reaper.

I thought... even if we lost, even if I was erased, I'd return home with Ven and Aqua. I hope so. You don't realize how much you miss your friends until they're gone.

[purrtagonist]

[god. that last part is what kicks Akira in the gut the most. Terra. . . wasn't a bad guy at all. Terra, just like Lion, just like Utena and Maya and Anthy, deserved to live. to see his friends again]

You really don't.

[his words are even, but slightly strained. it's hard]

You're a good guy. To carry a burden like this one. . . so no one else has to.

[darkearth]

I don't know if it's good or bad. [He touches his chest.] In here, it felt right, and that's why I did it.

Even if I don't get a second chance, you could. I hope you do.

[purrtagonist]

[heh]

Maybe that's a better way to put it.

[another deep breath]

I don't really know what's going on with this Game, but it feels wrong. And I intend to live as long as I can to uncover its mysteries. To find a way to stop the Composer and help the Players.

That's what I think a Reaper's duty should be.

[helping the Players. not bringing them despair, not fighting for survival for one's own sake or own second chance. guiding, uplifting, and helping them to grow]

[darkearth]

You should tell the others. About the Composer. [Well...] Some of them, I guess.

Maybe they can help you succeed. [Akira is right, he thinks. They should tackle the meat of the Game. They should stop others from having to play at all, from people like him having to be Reapers in their stead.

A good cause.] Maybe... you should talk to others, too. The ones not with us. I'm sure they feel the same way.

[purrtagonist]

Maybe.

[but he can't help but feel like that's wishful thinking]

I get the feeling they won't want to help me when they realize I've been lying to them.

[under duress, but still. he observed how the others reacted to Terra, even after learning that his intentions were good]

But even if they hate me, I won't stop fighting for a better ending. I won't stop trying to save everyone.

[darkearth]

They'll understand. [He knows how it feels. For everyone to think you did something horrible without feeling guilty, without knowing it's wrong. That you made a mistake because someone was twisting your arm.] When everything is over.

[Even if his smile is faint, it's still there.]

You've got the strength I was looking for. [He taps his chest.] I wanted to protect my friends. I wanted to be stronger. But I was scared that I wouldn't be able to, especially when I didn't pass the Mastery exam. That let the Darkness control me. It let... Xehanort trick me.

Don't forget about your Light: fighting to stop this. Don't ever think you're not strong enough. You've always been strong enough. It's always been right here.

[purrtagonist]

[Terra. . . even if Akira doesn't quite believe that anyone will understand, will sympathize (why would they? the Reapers' job in this game was to kill, and that was that), he appreciates those words nonetheless]

[he steps forward towards the ballpit opening, one hand curled into a fist, knuckles presented for Terra to bump again. GIVE HIM A BROFIST, DUDE]

I won't let you down.

I promise.

[and in the end? they'll find a way to save Terra, too. a kind, selfless person who deserved to live just as much as the rest of them. for the sake of his friends]

But don't sell yourself short, either. Whatever Darkness you let get to you, I'm sure it's balanced by a Light of your own. Because I can see it, bright as day. It's your friends, isn't it?

[darkearth]

[Honestly, Terra has never bumped fists with anyone as a sign of comradery, but the notion seems familiar and natural, automatic.

He raises his fist, knocking it gently against Akira's.] Yes.

The other Game... I lost something important... It was that Light. I felt... [His hand falls down, opening, near his chest.] ...empty. Cold. I was able to do the things I did without guilt. All that mattered was getting rid of the ones who were going to erase us. I was afraid.

I'm sorry I couldn't lie. [He looks up.] You needed me, too. But... saying I didn't do it...

[Why did he have to get his Light back? He feels so ashamed.]

[purrtagonist]

[you learn something new every day, Terra. Akira bumps his fist against his fellow Reaper's before pulling back, dipping his hand back into his pockets]

It's okay. The fact that you couldn't lie says a lot about your character. You followed your heart to the very end, even if it meant your own demise.

That's admirable.