Akira "chaotic extra" Kurusu [Jᴏᴋᴇʀ] (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
purrtagonist) wrote2018-04-06 09:14 pm
purrtagonist) wrote2018-04-06 09:14 pm
Entry tags:
[Week 4, Friday: Yang]
[well, after that strange exit from the scene of Jonas's murder, Akira is absolutely seeking Yang out later that day. if only to make sure she's all right]
Hey, Yang?
Hey, Yang?
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[ She doesn't appreciate having the question lobbied back at her. After everything, he still can't do anything more than prolong her curiosities? ... And yet, Yang can't find it in herself to be anything more than briefly irritated. Her expression flares, prickles evident in her narrowed eyes, the line of her mouth-- There's something rather petulant about it, almost sullen. Very adolescent. ]
Assassin said he'd protect me, [ and never explained why, ] but slapped on one ultimatum after another.
[ Are you telling me the truth? she had asked; he had replied, I don't like lying to my allies. I'm not that sort of person. If you think I am, we should just end this now. No promises about what happens after, though!
Even now, it still sends a faint chill down her spine. Around her fork, her non-metallic hand trembles. ]
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[he sees why she's asking now. and something about his expression shifts, his own gaze narrowing, chin tilted up. it's not quite as fiery as hers-- he's exhausted-- but there's. . . a spark]
We don't want to win.
[that's why. winning had never been one of their goals. even less so now than it was before, now that there are only two of them left]
At this point, the only thing we want to do is save the Erased. And to do that, we can't win.
[. . . his eyes slip shut, brows furrowed. he gets why some people wish to end this game as quickly as possible-- once upon a time, Akira had felt the same. but with the souls of so many Erased at stake, Akira can't bring himself to end things just yet. as much as it hurts, as much as he hates prolonging this suffering]
[not until they know, exactly, how to bring them all back]
And we haven't gone after you or Sothe because. . . [. . .] Because I consider you my friend.
[. . .]
[he doesn't know if she still feels the same]
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[ It's a question, even if it's punctuated with the decisive finality of a statement. ]
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[he isn't sure what she's asking that about-- the part about not wanting to win, to save the Erased, or the part about her being his friend-- but his answer is the same nonetheless]
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Let me get this straight. Because you - consider me a friend - I'm now off limits to all of the remaining Reapers.
[ Because, to Yang, that sounds like bullshit. If they have decided to priortise winning below saving the erased, fine. After Terra, Dahlia and Junko, Yang isn't sure she believes it. She's trying to trust Akira and that often requires setting personal skepticisms aside, but she didn't promise to believe him. She promised to trust him.
A bit sadly, she rubs at her face. It's briefly buried in her flesh and bone hand. ]
Akira-- [ she isn't sure she can handle this. ] You're being honest now, right?
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The only thing I've ever lied to you about was who I am, Yang.
[perhaps the context of some of the things he said wasn't quite what she expected it to be. but nothing, other than his status as a Reaper, was an outright lie]
And I'm not lying about this, either.
1/idk
[ Uh oh, red eyes, sailor take warning... ]
2/3
He lied. She asked him a question and followed it up, point blank, with a demand not to be dishonest with her. He had still lied. Thinking of it that way, it feels a little childish to be still so upset. You lied to me-- It definitely sounds infantile, a petty grudge being held on for dear life. Yang isn't immature. She's a lot of things, but immature isn't one of them. She's wise enough to know that if she feels something, it's not irrelevant.
It's like a wound her ribs have closed around. There's no excising it, no salving it, no letting it bleed cleanly so it can heal. It's simply there.
He can say he's not lying, but he said that before. She can no longer assume anything he says is honestly given.
...
It hurts.
Her eyes lose their redness. She's beyond anger at this point. ]
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[ She puts her fork down. ... Its stalk is a bit bent. Huh. ]
I get it. It's not like I have many allies.
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[it hurts, to know the loss of that fire is his fault. it hurts, to know that she can't take him at face value anymore. but who does he have to blame for that? her? no. . . only himself. only the rules by which he was bound that caused him to tell that lie in the first place]
[he tries to smile. it's fake and shaky and downtrodden. he doesn't have much to smile about these days. who does?]
It's okay for you to be angry with me. [he says, because in his mind, that anger is just] Even if you trust me, I will never begrudge you for your anger.