Akira "chaotic extra" Kurusu [Jᴏᴋᴇʀ] (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
purrtagonist) wrote2018-04-14 09:19 pm
purrtagonist) wrote2018-04-14 09:19 pm
Entry tags:
[Week 5, Saturday: Max]
[idk where Max goes after trial, buuuuut]
[Akira is]
[going to ever-so-casually slide up next to him, hands in his pockets, and just stand there silently until Max acknowledges his presence]
[Akira is]
[going to ever-so-casually slide up next to him, hands in his pockets, and just stand there silently until Max acknowledges his presence]
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You deserved that. Asshole.
[that's fair]
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What'd I do?
[YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID, AKIRA]
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Seriously?
[okay now he's aiming for the ribs and less stomach]
You fucking martyr!
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I didn't. . . want to be. . .!
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[he's? sulking? what the fuck]
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[ugh. he doesn't even know anymore. all he knows is that the moment he realized Mary was the one who killed Ichigo, he couldn't let her be the one to take the fall during that trial]
[ugh]
Being a martyr is still annoying as fuck.
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[but he seems to have calmed down a bit (it's hard to tell. it's max.) now]
It's not like I expected or wanted you to fucking throw Mary under the bus, but... [well. anyway] ... Do you still mean it? All that shit about wanting to live.
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Of course I do.
[he does! he never wanted to die. he still wants to fight. he's still trying]
But so many people died for me this weekend, Max.
[because he either killed them himself, or drove them into anger, or protected himself and made them vulnerable. he just really didn't want to see anyone else take that hit]
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[.... and because this is happening, akira is getting a quick, 3 second hug. a dash and hug, if you will.]
I'm glad it wasn't you. [immediately after release:] That never happened.
1/2
[such a lightning-fast hug that he has no time to return it, or even really process that it's happening, before Max pulls away. it leaves Akira kind of blinking at him in surprise, honestly]
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[he's touched. that's been happening a lot this week. the Confidants he has built in this place. . . have really pulled through for him, even when he feels he doesn't deserve it]
What never happened?
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I can't go dying now. Not after Seizaburo and Mutsu decided to place this much trust in me.
[they gave him a chance. as much as he feels he doesn't deserve it, he won't waste it]
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I know that feeling. [As He Knows] I can't tell you shit about the direction you guys took there, but... Well, you'll see sooner than later.
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[he sucks in a shaky breath. sooner than later. is that good? Anthy had said they'd know by this weekend if they met the requirements to save the Erased, but. . .]
What do you think about what happened? Punching me in the stomach aside.
[he's trying to cheat, since Max is the judge]
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[:/]
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Cheat? Me?
[said in that "I would never" kind of voice]
Then. . . I suppose the only thing left is to see what the next week has in store for us.
[and. the week after that, if necessary. but god, does he hope it isn't]
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[of course he's not gonna expand on it? come on. but he will give akira a different kind of bone]
You wanted to know my entry fee, right?
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[that is not the bone he expected to get. but even so, he nods, quietly encouraging Max to continue]
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My anger. [he shrugs] Or, well, something like that. Turns out when I'm not full of anger and spite and world-weariness or whatever the fuck, I'm pretty fucking useless. Nikki had to practically drag me along the whole Game.
I didn't want to play.
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[it isn't as though Akira is any stranger to anger. he's felt it, buzzing underneath his fingertips, throughout his entire stay here. he's just a master of controlling it, of wielding it like a weapon, carefully and precisely. he finds use in it. he finds it necessary]
[so when Max says he lost his? he's immediately sympathetic]
You wanted to give up.
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[he just shrugs]
At Camp, it was always us three hanging out. Me, Nikki and Neil. Nikki partnered with me because what I lost made me a fucking liability to myself, and we thought Neil would be fine with Space Kid. [...did the child not have a name-- whatever] I was tied to her, so I did the bare minimum to make sure she went on. When everyone was being picked off, all I wanted was for shit to end. I was... so tired.
[he sounds it, still.]
I don't know if it was meant as a trap or just a regular part of the Game. That thing, that David saved me from? That he gave up his and his partner's chance for? I could've moved. I saw it coming. I didn't care. That's always been my fucking specialty. Not giving a shit.
[he stops talking there. uh. give him a moment he's looking kind of frustrated with himself. guess he got that entry fee back!!!!]
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[he sees why Max blames himself for what happened to David, now. sees why the torn and bloodied T-shirt is so important]
You've changed.
[he gives a shit now!!]
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[since akira is on his level (sitting, rip max's height), he can stare at him right in the eyes]
I didn't accept my position in the Games for anything but revenge. That's why I could live with or without them. But you-- before this. You took it up because you seriously believed in it. And now that you've seen the worst it's capable of, you still think it's worth it, don't you? That people are worth it.
[he pokes him square in the chest]
Again, don't go repeating this crap to anyone. But yeah. Maybe you're partially responsible for this whole... change garbage.
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[. . .]
[his mouth twitches, but it's not quite a smile. not yet]
People are ugly, Max.
[ah]
They're distorted and twisted from the inside out. I've seen the worst of those distortions, and how they've affected the people to whom I'm closest.
[chin tilted up!!]
But no matter how distorted people are, I will always believe they are worth it.
[even if they need a kick in the pants sometimes. even if they need a Trickster to save them from ruin]
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[ he shrugs ]
Some people don't deserve a second chance. Some don't even want it. ... But ultimately, the Game's existence isn't based off the potential of individuals. I think you've got that figured out.
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[leave him be!! but]
And, yeah. You're right, and I do. I think everyone else here has figured that out, too.
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Hmm. Something close enough to it, at least.
[ so ]
We both know your hands aren't clean, and you did some shit you're not proud of. That's pretty much how the Game goes. But... That stupid outlook of yours maybe isn't the worst thing for a Reaper to have.
[ shrugs ]
Your Composer had the right idea, sending you here.
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Did he?
[ha]
Anthy once told me that she only asked to borrow "good" Reapers from other Composers. But everyone's definition was different.
[so]
Now knowing what's at stake-- or, at least, having a good idea of what's at stake-- I guess. . . I'm glad he trusted me enough.
[to send him here. to make him a part of such an important and vital test, despite the things Akira has been forced to do]
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[he'll never let that joke go jack]
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You also thought I was going to be Erased on the second week here, and yet. . .
[here he is! still alive, by some goddamn miracle]
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The UG is just a collection of me being horribly wrong about shit, what can I say.
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[heh]
Thank you, by the way. For all of your help.
[and for everything he's said in this conversation]
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[har har]
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[he's teasing]
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[does... he]
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That's actually a good thing to know. It means you don't sell yourself short.
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[this is his perma-height save him]
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[did he]
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You make up for your height by being someone with a personality that can't be overlooked.
[okay you can punch him again now]
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[he walked into it]
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I need some ice after that one. . .
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[just. rude.]
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[opinions of others don't matter, so THERE]
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And you accused me of being edgy.