[Week 5, Saturday: Yusuke]

[purrtagonist]

[a lot of what needed to be said had already been said at the trial, but. . . of course things aren't perfectly okay anymore. and that hurts-- although it hurts even more to know that whatever it is that broke happened to do so on the day after they lost Makoto]

[but it was Akira who broke it. who violated so many codes, and lied to the people he cared about most, even if he didn't want to. and so, when the trial is done, Akira seeks Yusuke out so they can continue their. . . talk]

[just in case either of them have anything else to say]

Comments

[wantsnudes]

[Yusuke normally goes to join his partner after trials, but today he needed some time alone to collect his thoughts, and to finally have some space to grieve, after everything that happened. Which is why he's sitting alone outside Towa Records. When he notices his leader, he looks up in surprise.]

Ah... Akira. Would you like to join me?

[It's painful, but he still wants to talk.]

[purrtagonist]

[and without hesitation, he plops easily onto the ground next to Yusuke, knees drawn up to his torso so he can fold his arms over them]

I'd accept even if you hadn't asked.

. . . how are you doing?

[wantsnudes]

I'm all right. I'm relieved you're safe... Even if it's selfish to feel that way.

[He looks to his hands folded in his lap, then at Akira.]

How are you doing? You've been through so much... You must be exhausted.

[purrtagonist]

[honestly?]

Exhausted doesn't even begin to cover it, Yusuke.

[not even close]

But I'm surviving. [literally] I never had any choice but to keep going. And that's true even moreso now than it was before, you know?

[since two people literally volunteered to be Erased in his place]

[wantsnudes]

It's not the first time someone has entrusted their life to us, so that we could have the chance to keep fighting.

[He thinks back to Akechi, and-- Come to think of it, since Akira lied about his death, he'd know about that too, wouldn't he?]

It's a heavy responsibility, but if anyone can prevail here, it's you. I'm sure the others all recognise that too, and that was why they could not vote for you.

[purrtagonist]

[he sure does. he wasn't actively thinking of it during the trial, but if someone reminded him of it now, it'd be another barb in an open wound. despite how much he hates Akechi for being the cause of his first death]

[. . .]

I don't understand. [why everyone trusts and believes in him, after everything he's done. but. . .] I have no intention of letting them down.

[of letting their sacrifices go to waste]

Not that I'm doing this alone, of course. I have you-- and everyone else. We're in this together, now.

[wantsnudes]

Reaper or not, everyone can see your strength and integrity of character. The same strength that made you the leader of the Phantom Thieves surely draws others to you as well, even those who don't know the truth of who you really are.

[Which makes a flash of guilt cross Yusuke's expression for doubting him, however briefly.]

I feel like I should apologise again. If I could take back some of the things I said... The silly assumptions I'd made, then...

[purrtagonist]

No. Don't apologize. It's okay, Yusuke.

[the assumptions had hurt, of course. especially coming from Yusuke, of all people]

I don't blame you for doubting me.

[and then, firmly]

But I promise I won't give you another reason to, ever again.

[wantsnudes]

All those years I spent with Madarame, only to learn the Sensei I had loved was not that man at all, and he had lied to me so extensively. With you, I should have known better, but I... wondered if the same would happen again. I panicked.

[trust issues are the worst. he sighs deeply, shifting, bumping shoulders with Akira ever so slightly]

I know better now. And I believe in you, no matter what.

[purrtagonist]

[he leans over and bumps his shoulder against Yusuke's gently]

That-- [god] That means a lot to me.

[a lot more than he feels he can express in words]

You know. . . you and Makoto, and everyone else, have always inspired me to be the kind of person people could believe in.

[they are, after all, a huge part of the reason he is who he is now]

[wantsnudes]

And you've always inspired us to be ourselves. I couldn't have answered Goemon's call without you... I certainly couldn't have overcome my struggles with my art, or my societal discomfort, without you.

[and so it's not hard to see why even those without a persona are drawn to that, too, he thinks. Akira is the kind of person who gives consideration to, and brings out the best, in anyone.]

If there's anything I can do here to keep inspiring you in return, you only need name it, Akira.

[purrtagonist]

[he doesn't feel like he's been very considerate, or that he's drawn out the best in everyone, while being here. but others have told him otherwise. what else can he do but make use of the extra chance the Players have given him, even knowing his crimes and his faults?]

Just be yourself.

[that's all he has ever needed. for Yusuke to be himself, and to always be there to lean on when he needs it. even if he hadn't really been making good use of that over the past few weeks]

That's enough.

[wantsnudes]

How can I be anyone else?

[Yusuke smiles wryly. If there's anyone good at being themselves, it's him.]

... I understand. I hope now you finally have the freedom to be yourself once again, too. We can't change what happened in the past, but we can still keep fighting for the future.

[purrtagonist]

Yeah.

[and that's exactly what he had tried to tell Yusuke during the trial]

I do feel more-- free, so to speak.

[not completely, because he's still somewhat bound by the role given to him in the Game. but he doesn't have to hide it so much. he doesn't have to lie. and he has people who will help him break through the chains that bind him to the messy job he's been given]

[and that is liberating, isn't it?]