purrtagonist | [Day 4, Night: Akechi]

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nope's peak: r1

[Day 4, Night: Akechi]

[taking Dazai up on his offer for coffee is awfully tempting. as is seeking out Ichigo, who is quite possibly the person Akira's come to trust the most in his four days trapped in murder school. but as tempting as both of those options are, a sense of unease and concern causes him to take a leap of faith he isn't sure he would've taken in any other circumstances]

[he finds Akechi fairly quickly. relief struggles with wariness, and although his posture seems relaxed with his his hands in his pockets and his shoulders slumped, there's still a certain tension in the lines of his body]

[Akechi said he wouldn't kill him. he wants to believe that. and so. . . here he is]

What a coincidence.

[he says lightly, voice dry]

Come here often?

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...I don't know that I agree with that. If I undo what happened, the only thing I'm still guilty of is the price I paid for it.

[Digging through a particularly deep drawer of Qtips. Maybe there's something underneath them??]

And if it's my own choice to do it, even if it makes me a bad person, isn't that going against Shido's will as well?

[casually talking about Akechi contemplating MURDER while digging through qtips, it's fine. even though he frowns, brows furrowed, jaw set tightly. focus]

That's only if you get away with it. And in that case, you'd be directly and indirectly responsible for two deaths. The person you kill, and the person who is executed in your stead. And if you don't get away with it, then--

[he abruptly cuts himself off. realigns his focus, shutting the drawer a little too hard, swiveling on his heel to face him]

And is it really your choice when you'd be doing it in accordance with the rules of this stupid game?

[slamming his own draw. he can't help but want to fight when he is confronted like that]

Life is nothing but having to endure unfair rules! Most of the people here are going to die anyway! Why would it be so terrible if I had a reason to survive this? Do you really hate me that much?

[Akira jerks back, as though slapped, by the very last thing Akechi says]

I don't-- [. . . this. . . is probably the confrontation that was a long time coming. what existed in the near invisible lines of tension between them, banter aside. at least they aren't in public]

I don't hate you, Akechi! I never did! And I want you to have a reason to survive this, because that's what you deservet!

But not like this. Not by being pushed into a corner. Not by walking a similar path to what you did back home!

[whines with frustration]

That is such naive bullshit! What do you think is going to happen to me when I go back? Everyone must know by now that I'm a fraud, that I'm Shido's son, everything I've done! Assuming whoever filled the power vacuum he left behind doesn't cover everything up and quietly kill me, I'll probably be tried as an adult, life or maybe death, depending entirely on the political aspirations of whatever lucky prosecutor ends up with my high-profile case!

[ssssomebody's spent a lot of time obsessively thinking about this. much of it while justifying to himself exactly why he needed to kill you, once upon a time.]

And you're telling me I don't even have my Personas anymore? Why the hell do you think I would want to survive?

[how would killing him have helped any of that, Akechi!!]

[but the sad thing is, he isn't exactly wrong. and Akira's natural distrust for the system (hope, there's hope, Shido was held accountable and his own record was wiped clean, Sae is just one of many adults who will be doing their best to clean the system up) keeps him from even trying to refute it]

. . .

[a deep breath to compose himself. he tilts his head up, leans back so his elbows are propped on the countertop]

Akechi.

[ah, he's reined himself in]

When we fought in the hull of Shido's ship, you wondered why we couldn't have met a few years earlier. You said that under different circumstances, we could've been rivals-- or even friends.

[guess what words really resonated with him, buddy. guess!!]

Do you think it's too late?

[rapidly deflating]

That's what they offered me. Not just the chance to go back...

[he trails off, not wanting to articulate the rest. well, Akira's smart enough to get the point]

...Of course it's too late. It was too late before we'd even met.

[ah. . . yeah, he's smart enough to pick up on those implications easily]

[a breath. he closes his eyes for a moment, brows furrowed, like he's thinking extremely hard about something. like he's reaching deep within himself and trying to figure out what his own justice means]

It's not.

[opens his eyes again and affixes Akechi with an even stare]

I don't think it's ever too late.

That's...

[Akechi's own gaze wavers. He doesn't want to back down, but he doesn't want to start crying, either, y'know? Where's his berserker state when he really needs it?]

Even if you really mean that, I... my life is already...

[the effort to not break down overtakes the effort to assemble coherent conversation]

I can't.

You can.

[Akira's calm, but he has that luxury. this isn't his life they're talking about. and it may be naive, but god damn does he want to believe that something better exists for Akechi than death, than having to murder again to turn back time and achieve a new life]

I'm not saying it won't be hard. I'm not saying it'll be easy. But you can rebuild, you know? And for the first time, you wouldn't be alone doing it.

[covers his eyes with one hand and lets out a sob]

[jesus]

[he quietly steps forward, extending a hand and dropping it lightly, warmly, on Akechi's shoulder]

[chokes it back and rubs at his eyes]

S, sorry. I'm fine.

You're not, but it's fine.

It's just me.

[he won't tell]

[his hand drops from his face]

Even after everything, would you really...?

Yeah.

[that's a pretty quick affirmation, hand tightening on his shoulder ever so slightly]

You owe a lot to Haru and Futaba. I can't just forget their pain, and it isn't my place to offer forgiveness, either.

[not for that. but. . .]

None of us wanted you to die. And in the end, even after everything, we all know that you're just like us. That all you really needed was a place to belong.

I'll give you that. We can give you that. But you have to give us the chance.

[aka no murder!!]

[ducks his head and sniffles]

I'd like that.

[the prospect is terrifying, there's no hiding that, but something about Kurusu being the one to say it makes it seem possible. he'll remember to be properly envious later]

[no envy now, just aggressive protag friendship]

All right. Then let's both do our best.

[he drops his hand back to his side, but not without one more comforting squeeze for good measure]

But until then, we've got a nurse's office to investigate, don't we?

Yes—yes, of course.

[wiping his eyes on his sleeve]

I'll leave no Qtip unturned.

[this is why you're the pale quadrant, Akechi]

Good to know that if one of us is bleeding out in the future, we can stuff our wounds full of qtips, right?

[SO DRY, as he opens another drawer and starts rummaging again]

[we could have been epic kismewhatsis!!!!]

Somehow I feel less than reassured.

[Akechi's digging produces a box of Band-Aids, which he holds up with one hand, still rummaging with the other]

Never mind. As you can see, we'll be just fine.

[oh my god]

Well, I feel safe now.

[AND HE HAS FOUND. . . a scalpel huh]

Extremely safe.

[only glancing over before getting back to his own search]

Does it have a cap? That might be a more practical than carrying around a kitchen knife.

[continues digging for a cap. . .]

I don't see one. But if I'm being honest, I'd prefer a kitchen knife.

[THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT SELF-DEFENSE RIGHT]

[THEY MIGHT ACTUALLY BE]

I made a sheath for mine out of cardboard. Still, it doesn't seem like the safest thing.

[opens up the closet and pulls out a collapsed wheelchair]

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