[Day 15, afternoon: Akechi]

[purrtagonist]

[Ichigo sleeps the day away. and honestly, Akira almost does, too. but at some point he manages to disentangle himself from his napping buddy to sneak out and pull a certain someone aside, right into an empty classroom]

[once they're there? Akira leans his shoulder against a wall, crutch tucked underneath one arm, back facing Akechi]

I need your help.

Comments

[afailedmurder]

You can. And then afterward, you'll be finished with all of this.

[purrtagonist]

[. . . nts: don't tell Akechi he has no intention of quitting]

That's not why I'm doing this.

[afailedmurder]

I wasn't trying to insinuate otherwise. But it's, mm... nice to have something to look forward to, during the most unpleasant parts.

[murder protips!]

[purrtagonist]

[THANKS AKECHI]

A silver lining to compromising my values as a Phantom Thief for what I feel like is a good cause?

[. . .]

[ugh. grimaces when he says that]

[afailedmurder]

[well la-de-dah Mr. Values—but no, don't get irritated, he doesn't get it]

Even ordinary people do what they must in dire situations. It will only change who you are if you let it.

[purrtagonist]

[now that's actual good advice]

. . . right. Of course.

[afailedmurder]

...Don't take for granted that she can't defend herself, either. Even if she looks weak, she's probably armed.

[purrtagonist]

I'd be surprised if she isn't armed, actually.

[CONSIDERING. . . Erika]

There aren't any firearms in this school.

[he doesn't say this aloud, but he is quietly wondering if the raccoons would give him one]

[afailedmurder]

You're still injured as well...

You may be able to deceive her, but as she is both observant and deeply paranoid, that'll be easier said than done.

[frowns. he'll say it:]

Talk to the raccoons. I'm sure they'll accommodate you.

[purrtagonist]

[Goro Akechi: there to say things you're a bit afraid to ask aloud]

I'll-- figure something out.

She is the one who asked me to accompany her, so she must have some level of. . . trust. For me.

[mmmmm yeah that only makes it worse]

[afailedmurder]

...

It's best not to focus on that.

[purrtagonist]

[. . .]

Yeah, probably not.

[best not to think about how she has shown him her weaker, more desperate sides. how she had fallen to her knees in tears, begging him to kill her the last killing night, to create a mystery for this mysterious god who created her, who could send her back to oblivion with a snap of their fingers]

[best not to think about how she's absolutely a Confidant at this point and it's totally in bad taste to murder your Confidants]

But, anyway. . . thank you, Akechi.

[afailedmurder]

Mm. If you need more advice, don't hesitate to find me.

[don't chicken out, Kurusu]

Aside from checking in on Saihara, I don't have much else to do today.

[purrtagonist]

[he won't!! once he decides to do something, he doesn't change his mind]

[he might cry a lot afterwards, though. sorry in advance for those feelings]

Neither do I. I'm going to spend most of it sleeping.

[hesitation]

Akechi--

[afailedmurder]

Yes?

[purrtagonist]

How did you. . . [gestures. with his free hand]

Cope? Afterwards.

[afailedmurder]

Not very well, clearly.

[laughs to himself, then shakes his head]

No, sorry, that's not helpful. But I don't think I'm qualified to advise you here, since I took more of... let's say a "boiling the frog" approach to morality. Early on, I only targeted those who had hurt me; bullies, teachers, foster parents. When I ran out of those, I went after those who were harming others. Then it was anyone who would help my career, then those who would get me closer to Shido. I never felt guilty.

[he looks a little guilty, though, shrugging slightly]

By the time I was actually killing people, I'd already caused so much carnage that I didn't feel anything.

[purrtagonist]

[It will only change who you are if you let it.]

[out of everything Akechi's said, that's resonated with Akira the most. and now, he kind of sees why. because when it comes down to it, he doesn't want to be that person who slowly descends into killing without feeling anything. if he can feel remorse, or pain, or sympathy, then. . . then doesn't that at least mean he's managing to hold onto the person he always thought he was?]

[even so, he doesn't really miss that flicker of guilt in Akechi's expression, and he capitalizes on it to sway the conversation away from himself (and his own questionably moral choices) and back to Akechi]

How do you feel about it all now? Now that everything is said and done.

[afailedmurder]

I have a number of regrets.

[He doesn't want to give a name to them. It's hard to talk about these things so far away from the Metaverse, the only place he ever knew true power and confidence, and in a conversation that he doesn't intend to end with a fight to the death.]

...You know, I was furious when the Phantom Thieves first appeared. That dirtbag teacher, he was your first, wasn't he? After one try, you'd done something I never managed after years of hard work. I think on some level, your existence forced me to question what I was doing.

Not that it matters. At the end of the day, I'm the type to double down even when I know I'm wrong.

[purrtagonist]

We had Morgana. We had the benefit of something you didn't: guidance.

[what the heck would they have done without Morgana's guidance? it's a mystery, but considering how clueless they were about that world. . . Akira can't imagine it having ended well]

And being able to acknowledge that flaw is, at least, a step in the right direction. You realize that, right?

[afailedmurder]

[hmphs]

Not particularly. I've always been rather self-critical.

[purrtagonist]

Self-critical and stubborn.

[as though Akechi needs a reminder]

I guess advising you to "be less stubborn" isn't very helpful.

[afailedmurder]

...My stubbornness has already given way too, you know.

[purrtagonist]

I know.

[. . . shrugs]

Probably a lot more than mine has, all things considered.

[afailedmurder]

I had nothing left to lose. In some ways, that makes things easier.