[Day 2, daytime: Dazai, Ichigo]

[purrtagonist]

[well that was an adventure]

[presumably while Dazai sleeps off his delirium, Akira and Ichigo hang around his room to keep an eye on him. I mean, Akira's certainly not going anywhere anytime soon when Dazai is in such bad shape, so. . .]

. . . I'm a little impressed you knew what to do.

[THAT'S DIRECTED AT ICHIGO]

Comments

[suppressthedark]

[....You know what, fair enough. Ichigo will just...nod at that, and scratch the back of his head.]

You don't have to explain if you don't want to.

[Waiting until he's ready to really talk about it and all that.]

[cw_suicide]

[fuck that.]

Someone with distorted desires?

[purrtagonist]

[well, Ichigo tried. but Dazai puts it in a way that makes explaining things a bit. . . easier]

Yeah.

[he has no doubt that if Akechi were capable of having a Palace (which he is not, because he's a Persona user), he would have had one]

But not desires that we could actively steal. [game world mechanics. he won't get into those, yet] To make a long story fairly short. . .

[ccccasually]

He tried to kill me. Twice.

[suppressthedark]

[OH.

You know, he was going to shoot a glance at Dazai for being so tactless, but then...

Yeah. That happened.]

....Ah.

[WHAT IS THERE TO REALLY SAY TO THAT]

[cw_suicide]

Succeed with anyone else?

[c'mon, he knows how this goes. he'll make it easy for you.]

[purrtagonist]

[god damn]

[Akira's tensing up a bit, if only because it's almost unnerving how good Dazai is at predicting what is to come]

Many others. All in the name of advancing a certain cause. It's who he was, underneath the pleasant smiles and charming television personality.

[. . .]

No, that's not right. It isn't who he was-- it's what the world turned him into.

[suppressthedark]

[Yeah, Ichigo actually freezes at hearing that. Killing while keeping up that pleasant personality? Changing because that's what the world turned him into?

He's reminded of someone with such loneliness in his blade, even as he reached the height of power itself.

What happened earlier makes a lot more sense now.]

...I see. That...that has to be hard for you.

[Because he's not only seeing someone who killed others, but...from the way it sounds like, he has sympathy for him.

And he gets what that feels like.]

[cw_suicide]

[nnnnggggh... burrowing a little, suddenly feeling just. sick. for reasons the alcoholism stems from.

muttering, muffled by pillow:]

Give 'im the book.

[purrtagonist]

Hard for me?

[he tilts his head towards Ichigo, frown curling down the corners of his mouth. hard on him? hell]

. . . there are things he's done that I can't forgive him for. [he can't, he won't, not yet, not now] But in the end, he's the one of us who has no one to catch him when he falls.

[and with that. . . he holds out his hand for the book]

[suppressthedark]

[Like before, he easily hands it over, placing the book in Akira's hands.]

I understand. About...what you mean with him.

[He closes his eyes for a moment, letting out a harsh sigh.]

I know someone like that, too. He's done things no one should, ruined lives and killed people, but...

[He just can't forget that loneliness, that sense of isolation due to what he was, and the power he wielded.

That could have been the path Ichigo himself walked down on, after all.

Did Akira feel that way about Akechi, too?]

....Thank you. For telling us, I mean.

[cw_suicide]

[huuuuuuuuuffs. because that's a better sound to make than the ones in his head.]

If you're takin' responsibility, go clean up the library.

[purrtagonist]

[snorts]

Not that kind of responsibility.

[PLEASE HE ISN'T A MAID]

I'm one of three people now who know what he's capable of.

And I want to make sure he doesn't hurt anyone here. I don't think he will-- [for SO many reasons] -- but I'm still keeping an eye on him.

[suppressthedark]

I already helped clean it up, anyway.

[YEP.

Yep

Ichigo nods at that, understanding completely.]

I can help, if you want - although I don't think he'd really appreciate me checking up on him now.

[THERE WAS THAT SCREAMING MATCH THEY HAD....

But anyway, what's done is done. For a moment, Ichigo looks serious, and then-]

Since you already told us about your situation back home, I can tell you mine.

[It's only fair, after all. Akira shouldn't be the only one divulging secrets, here.]

[cw_suicide]

[oh my god.

let dazai die???

protagonists please.]

--title explains mine.

[LOLOLOL ULTIMATE MAFIOSO DETECTIVE.]

[purrtagonist]

[welcome to being friends with protags 101, Dazai]

[Akira's gaze snaps towards Ichigo in surprise, because. well. of course he didn't really expect that? it wasn't a part of their deal. he doesn't have anything to actually say in response though, so. . . he nods]

[. . .]

[and also glances at Dazai like. uh huh. the title explains all. really. he disbelieves]

[suppressthedark]

[He spares a glance at Dazai, because - well really come ON it doesn't explain anything, my dude.

But, once Akira nods, Ichigo takes a breath and tries to figure out how best to say this. Should he start that he's been able to see ghosts all of his life, and go from there? Should he talk about when he first met Rukia? Or should he start at the end of it all, when Yhwach was finally defeated?

....

Fuck it, let's keep this simple.]

I'm a Shinigami.

[They're all japanese, he shouldn't have to explain what that means.]

[cw_suicide]

[SITS BOLT UP RIGHT WITH BLANKET COCOON.





and then immediately makes a sick noise because o-oof too fast. way too fast.

but also a deATH GOD YOU SAY????????]

Seriously?!

[purrtagonist]

[DAZAI NO]

[already sitting upright, but suddenly leans forward in his chair, eyes wide]

You-- are? How the. . .

[please don't like, ALSO be dead, Ichigo??]

[suppressthedark]

[Well, that went about as well as he could have expected.

Gotta commit to this shit, then]

I'm a shinigami, but I'm also human.

[He digs out his Shinigami Badge, to show the two of them.]

I can't do anything except see ghosts when I'm in my body, so I use this to be able to leave it.

[And basically be LEGALLY BRAINDEAD for however long he's out.]

Explaining how I became one is a long story, but I'm willing to tell it if you're interested.

[cw_suicide]

[one look at the badge and...

all the hype just kind of fades away into a blank stare because

even if abilities worked

his would surely cancel it out, right?]

A special ability, huh...

[mumble mumble]

[purrtagonist]

[. . . gllllancing at Dazai again. he seemed a bit too interested in this just a minute ago]

I'll listen.

[that's directed at Ichigo]

To whatever it is you want to say.

[suppressthedark]

[The hell was that, Dazai? He just looks over at him dubiously, but then shrugs and continues.]

For me to really explain, I'll have to tell you how my world works.

When people die, their chain of fate is broken. It's what keeps your soul anchored to your body.

[He touches his own chest, unconsciously, as he keeps talking.]

They roam around in the living world after that, and if they stay there too long, their chain begins to devour itself, until it's gone - and all that remains is a hole in them.

[Actually...gonna rub his chest a little, because holy shit does he ever remember how that felt. It hurt. A lot.]

Because of that, they become Hollows - monsters that eat other people's souls in the hopes that they can fill that emptiness inside of them.

[He pauses, and then-]

I have one. He's part of the source of my powers, my Zanpakuto.

[That chest rubbing makes more sense now, probably - and 'soul cutter?' Welp.]

[cw_suicide]

[............ lololololol FUCKING RELATEABLE, HOLLOWS.

tilts head back to look at the ceiling before flopping back down to the bed.]

[purrtagonist]

[. . . ah]

[Akira brings a hand up to his own face, fingers brushing against his cheek, underneath the frames of his glass lightly. his gaze grows distant, like he's thinking about something. . . and then he shakes his head]

If you have a Hollow, does that mean you died?

[just!! to make sure!!]

[suppressthedark]

[Dazai r u okay. Do you need a minute.

Ichigo shakes his head.]

No. I had him since I was born.

[Oh boy, that's getting into a bunch of shit, but here goes!!]

My mom was attacked by a special hollow when she was defending my old man - one someone had created from a bunch of other souls, so it was basically empty inside. She thought she defeated it, but it actually infected her, trying to use her like a host for itself.

[This is all second hand from his dad, but-]

My dad - a shinigami from a noble family - gave up his powers to seal it inside of her, and got a body to be able to live in the living world. I just inherited it.