[Week 2, Monday: Max]

[purrtagonist]

[just like last week, Akira approaches with his specially brewed coffee made out of stolen beans from Wildkat in hand! for the record, he made this ~super stealthily~ in the McDonald's bathroom so no one would see him at work and question his entry fee. just saying]

[he holds the drink out to Max and starts things off with a simple question]

Want to go see a movie?

Comments

[concertmaster]

You don't know that. You're assuming a lot of shit.

[he wipes at his face one last time and jumps off the counter]

Whatever. This never happened.

[purrtagonist]

What never happened?

[he's gotchu Max]

The movie? It wasn't that bad. I liked the part where the guy jumped over the helicopter with a motorcycle.

[concertmaster]

[Max Will Remember That,]

I'd have liked it a lot better if he hadn't made the jump, personally.

[deadpan doing a "blowing up" motion]

Pow.

[purrtagonist]

[HOPEFULLY NOT IN A BAD WAY]

Then who would've shot the fake president in the last five minutes of the film?

He needed to make the jump in order to save the day.

[concertmaster]

[o3o???]

The president was right under the helicopter, just make it crash and end our misery early.

[purrtagonist]

But then the main character would've died. That would've kept him from hooking up with the redhead later on in the movie.

[REDHEADED ADMISSION IMPOSSIBLE GIRLS]

[concertmaster]

Heteronormativity in movies is what causes kids like me to not question their sexuality and perpetuates a cycle of uncomfortable self-doubt and angst before an eventual coming out that's then celebrated with fake pride parades while people complain about how straight people don't have anything.

[slurps from his forgotten slushie. its all liquid.]

Also she never showed her boobs, so what's the point.

[purrtagonist]

[. . . . .]

You're ten. You're not old enough to see that kind of movie.

[no!!!]

[concertmaster]

Turn safe search off and let me google boobs!!

[purrtagonist]

Nope. Denied. Google ten-year-old things instead.

[HE REFUSES]

[concertmaster]

This is ageism, Joker, and I won't stand for it. You can't stop me. One of these movies has got to be R-rated.

[purrtagonist]

How about we go play with a kitten at the pet shop instead?

[distraction techniques 101]

[concertmaster]

[squiiiiiiiiiiiiints]

Yeah, okay. Acceptable. But I want to squish a pawpad.

[purrtagonist]

You can squish two paw pads.

Or however many you'd like.

[TO THE PET SHOP]

[concertmaster]

[TO THE PET SHOP!!]

Hey, can I get a BB gun while you're bribing me?

[purrtagonist]

Where am I supposed to buy a BB gun, Max?

[there are no gun shops here??]

[concertmaster]

Right, I forgot toy stores don't sell those here. Fucking Shibuya.

[://///]

[purrtagonist]

There's an airsoft gun shop in the Shibuya I know. Untouchables.

Maybe if we go there one day I'll buy you a BB gun.

[concertmaster]

Sweet.

[he did nothing to deserve that?]

I mean, spoiler, we fucking won't, but sweet.

[purrtagonist]

And here I thought you weren't allowed to give out spoilers, Max.

[concertmaster]

Your guy showing up in this UG would be fucking weird, that's not a real spoiler.

[purrtagonist]

Ah. . . well, that's fair. I prefer him alive, anyway.

[pet shop ahead, bee tee dubs]

[concertmaster]

He probably prefers himself alive too, so. Win/win.

[once there, Max makes a beeline for the snakes.

why?

because he's an enfant terrible why else does he do anything]

[purrtagonist]

[. . . . . . . well, Akira was thinking of playing with the kittens, but sure]

Snakes?

[concertmaster]

[squints]

None of these are poisonous, what's the point.