purrtagonist | [Week 4, Sunday: Makoto]

Entry tags:

reapsody

[Week 4, Sunday: Makoto]

[like others, Makoto won't be able to find Akira for a few hours after the execution. that is by purposeful design. but eventually? he'll emerge from whatever hiding spot he had curled up in to deal, mostly composed and back to normal]

[keyword "mostly."]

[Makoto will find Akira at the bookstore, draped over one of the couches with an open book propped over his face. he's holding a bottle of chocolate milk. fancy that!]

[time to bother leader, y/n?]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

... You're right.

Akira... Perhaps we should talk to Max together.

[she pauses and inclines her head towards him]

What do you think?

It couldn't hurt.

[he and Max are on extremely good terms, after all]

Although he might feel like we're ganging up on him.

... Do you think we have much to risk from that?

[a laugh]

No. Not at all. He'll just be grouchy.

Is that really that different from normal?

[they have a lot of work to do, after all, and they can only do it between the two of them]

Point taken.

Even then, I'm pretty fluent in speaking Max, now.

I think I'm picking up the finer points... He says he doesn't care, but...

I get the feeling, he's expecting something from us.

In the beginning, I don't think he cared. But now?

I think he's leaning there's a lot more to us than he originally thought.

Yes. That's why I think it might be worth it.

[she exhales]

As for you...

... I wish you'd told me sooner. But if that means we can speak more openly now, and strategize better, I suppose it makes no difference.

[this is her one passive aggressive shot at him]

[I MEAN, CONSIDERING WHAT HAPPENS TO HER BECAUSE OF HIM. . .]

[he lets out a huffed laugh, and rubs the back of his neck]

I wish I could've told you sooner. But we were all threatened with our own Erasures if we did.

[there are RULES. so many Rules. and while Akira breaks rules systematically, breaking this particular one would have put Ichigo at risk. he couldn't have that]

A code might have helped.

[she tilts her head.]

But, please, don't forget you can lean on myself, and Yusuke. You had to take on both of our feelings at the beginning. I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep fighting, especially after I realized my price, but... Now I know I do. And it's thanks to you, Akira.

So... that said, we have to protect the reapers.

Sure. I could've called myself a Beeper.

[HE ACTUALLY DOESN'T THINK A CODE WOULD'VE HELPED, but. what she says next gets his smile to soften]

. . . and I'm glad that you've been able to rely on me. [still wants to, despite this revelation] I'll rely on you and Yusuke in return. I promise.

[except when it comes to being an accomplice for murders, I guess]

[except for that yeah. it's fine, it't fiiiiine.]

No, I think... Terra's death made me realize my assumptions about the reapers were wrong.

[she exhales]

Akira... I need to know, though... As a reaper, have you... [a pause, and then she makes sure to focus her gaze on him] Have you erased anyone? Or been a part of an erasure?

[. . . now that's a question, isn't it?]

[. . .]

Caren was the first person I've Erased with my own two hands, ever.

[been a part of, however. . . he's deliberately not looking away from her when he answers, knowing that he doesn't have a right to be ashamed of the things he has done]

I was there for-- Lion, Eleanor, and Chuuya, though.

[it's one she'll probably have to make use of, if she's to understand what's going on. She purses her lips at the response, clearly not pleased to hear that.

But also... it makes Caren's request make... a lot more sense.]

... Akira...

[sure does, doesn't it? not just a call out to his nature as a Reaper, but. . . a deliberate attempt to yank him out of the shadows and force him into action he was trying to avoid taking before]

[it sucked]

[he gives a very small, barely perceptible shrugs, not really sure what else he can say about this admission. other than--]

I'm not proud.

I know... But we don't have much to be proud of, either.

[an exhale.]

It's not like we've managed to break the basic structure of the game from our end.

Edited 2018-04-17 04:45 (UTC)

And we've tried.

[he finally looks away, if only to stare at the ceiling while he searches for his words]

. . . the first thing I said when I got here was that I would never Erase anyone. I wouldn't. I couldn't. It went against everything I stood for-- every code we put in place as thieves to keep us in check-- and I didn't want to compromise who I was for the sake of winning.

[. . .]

It started with Terra, I guess. He volunteered to go first. But I could tell he wanted to do this just as much as I did. So in that moment, I decided that even if I wouldn't Erase anyone, then I would at least do my best to keep the other Reapers-- like Terra-- alive.

[and that's how accomplice Akira was born]

[she listens, and when he finishes, she reaches her hand out to his, squeezing gently. She doesn't know what to say, or how much of the feeling she has is her own, or her justice being forgotten. She just feels... a little empty hearing that.

She can only imagine, if that's her feeling, what his is.]

Akira... Please... Make sure you stay safe. I'm certain that if that was Caren's small revenge... there might be a larger one coming.

[she isn't the only one who feels empty. Akira has felt that way since the very beginning. since. . . Terra and Lion, really]

I can't die.

[he can't. he believes that. while he doesn't think his life is any more important than anyone else's here, he does think he needs to be careful. he does think he needs to survive. he thinks he needs to live, in order to extend the Game to the time limit, in order to do whatever needs to be done to save the Erased]

So no matter who I am, or what I've done, I'll keep fighting to survive.

[he twists his hand to grab hers in return, squeezing just as tightly]

I promise.

[she seems to accept that, at least for now.]

Alright.

[she accepts his promise, and pulls her hand back.]

... We only have to make it for a little bit longer.

Three more weeks.

[which doesn't seem like long when he says it aloud]

[but when compared to the five they've already lived through, it feels like an eternity]

... And then we'll go back.

[she pauses, and feels a little bit bad for asking but]

... Do you wonder if we'll go back together? Our deaths were different... What we remember is different.

[ah. now that's a question. one to which Akira has no answer. but he can say this]

When I won my first Game-- [right. this isn't his first Game. his first as a Reaper, yes. but not his first period] -- I was sent back to the interrogation room, moments before I died. From there, I was able to fix what I had done wrong. To outsmart Akechi before he got to me.

. . . I don't know how that's going to work, here. Not only were our deaths different, but I actually remember. . . what happened after.

[they disappear from the public's cognition, he means]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject